As you grow older, and perhaps more wistful as you lose more, celebrations become small. It is not as if life doesn’t give you more as you age, but you begin to live with certain losses time can heal, but never overcome. Perhaps, someone you love has died, or someone you loved deeply has left you for another man, or for another dream. You learn to live without them, and without the dream… and life embraces you…as you embrace it once again. But the sense of loss remains…
A wistful, sometimes overbearing, mostly pallid sense of loss lingers through everyday life. And, then into celebrations. And, so the birthdays become smaller, and life’s little achievements are no longer loud-music-and-drunken revelries.
You could be simply lying on a blue bedspread, stealing a few moments in time with the book you’re in the middle of, and listening to a Classic Rock station on your I-pad. Then you may switch over to jazz. And fall asleep eventually, with the lights on, much later than you normally would on a week night, with little other reason,
Than a small celebration.